Today was pretty good. I went to the zoo all by myself! As I pulled up to a full parking lot and searched for parking along the street, my heart started racing. What was I doing?! Everyone would be staring at me. I’d look like a fool walking around taking pictures all by myself. But……. I fought the anxiety and gathered my things and got out of the car. Courage doesn’t mean anything if you don’t use it.
By the time I got up to the ticket booth, I could feel my anticipation mellowing. I looked around and realized—no one was paying me any attention. And in that moment? I felt FREE. The weather was beautiful and the animals were amazing. Mother Nature is truly a gorgeous thing. After several hours, I decided to treat myself to my favorite—pad thai.
After a late lunch, I caught the –itis LOL. I came home and cuddled on the sofa for a while. If I had been with a man, I would’ve thought this was a perfect date. And I must admit, even without a man, the day has been pretty great. But then….
I was tooling around on FB and saw that the last man I was dealing with was joking with a mutual friend. This man who disappeared on me last week without notice was going on with life as usual as of I didn’t even exist. It blew my high. I sucked it up and went outside to walk the dog and try to clear my head. And what did I see? A mother teaching her son to ride a bike. (See my previous entry about Forgotten Women to understand what that means to me) Two hits to the heart in a matter of minutes. DAMN, DAMN, DAMN!!!!
Now, I’m sitting here trying to get myself together…again. Even though I’m feeling some kinda way right now, I will still enter today in the W column. I won and tomorrow is a new one to do and to be better.
Peace, Love, and Light,
tdp
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